My mother had a streak of independence
even rebelliousness
She wanted to… have her ashes spread somewhere along the Blue Ridge Parkway
We Picked Devil’s Courthouse where her ashes soar on the winds with the hawks
My mother was born in Iowa in 1914 to a moderately wealthy family. Her father was a funeral director, so she was familiar with dead bodies. She completed college in Home Economics and announced she wanted to go to Medical School. Her father refused to pay for it. In those years in Iowa, young women didn’t do such things. So, she went to Duke Medical School—sufficiently far from Des Moines—to earn a degree in Medical Technology (conducting lab tests). Apparently, my grandfather thought that was OK. She met a young medical student at Duke, they married, and I’m one of the results. After moving to Florida where my father set up his medical practice, she became enmeshed in the world of doctors and their families.
When she died in 2003, only 28% of Americans were cremated.
Nonetheless, she continued her independent ways, for instance in having an affinity for fast sports cars. When she reached her 80s (my father died at a young age and she never remarried), she told me and my siblings that after she died, she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes spread somewhere along the Blue Ridge Parkway in North Carolina. This was again an expression of her independent nature. When she died in 2003, only 28% of Americans were cremated. Although this was higher than the 4% in 1960, it was much lower than the 60% in 2023.
The National Park Service said “Sure”
I phoned the National Park Service and asked if this was OK with them. To my surprise, they said, “sure.” So, her children, their spouses, and the grandchildren walked to the top of Devil’s Courthouse in Western North Carolina, and everyone got a chance to throw a bit of Mom or Grandmom to the wind as the hawks soared overhead.
Although we had a conventional church memorial service before doing this, I knew she would appreciate that final bit of independence, even rebelliousness.